The Saturday conversation

On Saturday this week, meaning the 9th of January 2010, I asked if I could go to the city to do some shopping. No I was not allowed, but the conversation I had ended up being more about my stay with their family and how I was, in a way, distancing myself from them. This was true to a certain extent. I didn’t want to intrude too much and I felt out of place when I spoke. I was also very much missing my own family. But I should make the most of the remaining two weeks here in the south of France. I have been making a much stronger effort in being a member and not just an observer; and the best thing is, the effort is already paying off. It’s all about the small things that make a difference in the big picture.

I got hit

by a snowball

2010

I am going to be seventeen this year. I am leaving France in trois and a half weeks. I am going to be with my family again soon. I may never see some people ever again.

Mixed feelings are not tearing me apart but it’s making my heart beat a little faster, I think that feeling is anxiety but I’m not sure. Maybe it’s depression, but nah I don’t think it’s that serious. Just teenage angst stuff (man I hate that term). But I’m not going to be a teenager soon. Peter Pan, I emphathise. I don’t want to grow up. I want to be innocent, free/oblivious from all the junk that exists. I like oblivion.

Think happy thoughts.

WordPress snows too

Blink 182 videos really are awesome. Just making my way through them again. Timeless.

So lost and disillusioned.

i was going to have a tell all but SOMEONE was hogging the computer.

Some people can be really annoying because the react for the weirdest reasons. Bfor example. Well she is the example. I don’t have the right to go to other places because something might just happen to me. In fact, I can’t even have one shot at archery when the nice little girl offered it to me coz it’s ‘dangerous’. Bullshit. And the way noise seems to annoy the hell out of this someone. And then the way this person can just go back to normal; and the way this person acts out how a gay person would act and how this person can say those teeny little comments about something displeasing and how hypocritical this person is. Dammit ça m’enerve!!!

But it’s okay coz it’s I don’t care. I’m going to organise my music. Made a friend today.

je suis comme un puit sans fond

I was feeling a little down the other day. But who writes stuff down when they’re upset. I certainly don’t. I just sit or lie down and think and try not to think. Music actually helps. And the other day I discovered this band Vulgaires Machins and their song Puit Sans Fond and it is AMAZING. I wanna get their album. I had other stuff to say but I’m not in that mood right now. And if I were to put myself in that mood just to write something, I’d be in that mood (duh) and I wouldn’t want to write, but listen to music to get the feeling away. And I wanna be a paradox writer. not

I’m pretty good at typing now.

I eat too much. And I watch too much tv. And I don’ talk enough.

So I guess it’s not really where or whatever, it’s just me. Change, not to change, …